In the Grand Scheme . . .

Okay.
I know I mostly just post pictures here, with a few little nothing thoughts sprinkled about, but today I've got thoughts.

I know.

It's a miracle.

Lately I've taken to stressing about everything.
And by lately, I mean pretty much the last 6 or 7 years.
Truly.
I have terrible anxiety that runs the gamut from worrying that I will die before I get to see my babies grow up, to absolutely ridiculous things like "did I respond to that one email I got this morning? Oh no, what if Mary May thinks I'm ignoring her.  I'll bet she hates me now".  Yep.  I don't discriminate, I just worry about it all.  I'm a multi-tasker like that.
And for me ~ worry, stress, and anxiety manifest themselves through a LOT of stomach issues.
And that leads me to step away from life, in general, and just want to hide away at home with my little fam.

But, I digress.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, the stuff I worry about.
Well, it's pretty much everything. 
But recently, {the last year or so}, the worries at the forefront of my brain
are predominantly concerns about my girls.  I mean, they always have been. 
But now, instead of worrying about diaper rashes, or picky eating,
I worry about their education.  Their hobbies and activities. 
Specifically: their homeschool education.  Are we doing enough?
And the fact that they aren't in every activity or sport under the sun.

You know what doesn't help the worrying?  Satan.
He loves taking every worry and insecurity we have, and magnifying it for us.
And Social Media.
Oh Social Media.  A definite love/hate relationship for me.
I love being able to connect with others, but it can be difficult when it *looks* like everyone else is living the perfect life ~ doing it all right ~ when sometimes you feel like you're doing it all wrong.

But the other day, while I was worrying about whether or not to continue homeschooling past 8th grade {Sierra will be a FRESHMAN next year.  HOW did this happen so quickly??}, and then worrying some more because my girls aren't involved in a sport or activity every.single.season., I had a moment of peace.  And clarity.

Because you know what, IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS:

*It doesn't matter if you're a mama who works, or if you're a mama who stays at home.

*It doesn't matter if your kiddos are homeschooled, or attend public school {or private, or charter, or, or, or}

*It doesn't matter if you're a vegetarian, or if you like your meat!

*It doesn't matter if your child is involved in sports or activities every single day of the week, or not at all.

*It doesn't matter if you have one child, or 12.

*It doesn't matter if you use Pampers or Huggies ~ hehehehehe!!!

It plain does.not.matter. 

Because when we parent with love, and follow God's plan for our lives, the rest falls into place.


And on that note . . .

You know some photos are comin'

I just have to.

We've been having some awfully crummy weather days, but that hasn't kept us indoors, no siree!

We just bundle up, and head right out into the sprinkles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 This little fishy-guy was cracking me up.  He did NOT like us getting too close to the water. 
Any time we would lean in for a closer look, he'd jump out at us to scare us away.
 

 

The girls braved the old, rickety bridge for a quick group shot {much to Kenners' dismay.  She did not want to set one foot on that bridge!}.

 

 

After a long walk to the creek and back, we were COLD, and wet!
Hot showers, and hot cocoa all around!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 And now . . . I'm either ready for about a foot of snow, or 80* temps!

This rain can go bye-bye!

Oh!  By the way, fellow homeschooling friends . . . my sweet friend, Melissa, is starting her journey as an Usborne Book distributor.  They have the coolest books for your homeschool library!!!  I am having an online book party Wednesday night.  If you are interested in taking a peek at these gorgeous books, just let me know, and I'll link you right up to the group!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was going to title this: The Oregon Garden, but then out spilled so much more

Life has been a touch gloomy around here lately.
And when I say "lately", I kinda mean for a long while now.

If I were to be truthful, {and I think that's important},
I would have to say that we've had a long {several years} season of trials.
That is not to say that it's been one dark rain cloud for years on end.
We've most certainly had some amazingly wonderful experiences recently.
But the fairly carefree life we led prior to, say, 2011 just doesn't exist anymore.

I always blame "the new house", lol.
That was the turning point in my mind.
If you're considering building a house, people, don't do it!
Hehehe, just kidding. Kind of.

I hated building.
I know plenty of people who love it.
{My parents, for example, who must've loved it because they built a new house,
every few years, for practically decades}.
And I think Jeremy liked it.
Even Sierra, the other day, was saying how she loved that time period.
Hmmmm.

I'm not a decision maker by nature.
And building a house seemed to be one decision after another after another,
for 10 months straight.
Also . . .
it was expensive.
Waaaayyyy more than what we had anticipated.
So yeah.
I'm getting off track.
Where was I?
Oh yeah.  The turning point.
That seemed to be it, for me.
We were faced with the enormous task of building, I was pregnant with our fourth daughter.
It was the beginning of a stressful season.
Finances became an issue, when they hadn't been before.
I had a fourth daughter.
Oh, did I already mention that?
Well, I'm mentioning it again, because I thought having a fourth child would be a
PIECE OF CAKE.
And that, my friends, is when this semi-organized and together lady, kinda fell apart.
Miss Taylor continues to be my . . . .
How shall I put this nicely?
SPIRITED child.
I keep thinking she will grow out of it, but no.
She is just going to be a spirited child.
And I've made peace with that  :)

But then life started to unravel.
There was the accident which left our family broken upon losing Justin.
Almost two years ago, now.
If someone would have told me how it would affect us.
The pain that would come.
I still couldn't have imagined the complete and total destruction.

Very recently our church divided, and we've felt a great loss there.
Lots of emotion.
Missing those precious people we don't see regularly anymore.
It feels like a death.
Truly.


TOO many people dealing with cancer.

So many deaths, and tragic accidents.
So many.
Most recently with our friend's loss.
It's like it just tears wounds that were beginning to heal, wide open again.

So. Wow.
I didn't really expect for all that to come pouring out.
It's been a tough season of life for us.
BUT.
Ahhhhhh, the silver lining :)
God has seen us through, and given us the strength to continue on.
I can see a little flickering of light at the end of this long tunnel.

And that brings me to last Friday.
Or Thursday, rather. I had been trying to think of a fun outing, that wouldn't cost a fortune, and in which I didn't have to drive forever {not one of my girls loves a car ride}.
For years I have wanted to go explore
The Oregon Garden
And I just had never gotten around to it.
I thought it might be fun to make it a surprise for the girls.
They woke up Friday morning thinking we had some Math to do, probably figuring we'd do some house cleaning ;)
But instead we headed off to the garden.

And I am SO glad we did.
What an amazing experience.

 

I know it probably sounds silly, but it was like "old times".

No worries about life, no stressing about the everyday stuff.
Just being.
Doing.

Oh, and the above tree? 400 years old.  FOUR HUNDRED.
It's like God was just telling me,
"Hey you, get out there and look at this wondrous place I created for you, that you've been IGNORING because you're so caught up in what you don't have".
He must really be trying to drive that point home, too, because that's specifically what we're discussing in our new Bible study right now.
Just because God isn't providing you with what you *think* you need,
doesn't mean He's not providing.

I love how He doesn't give up on us.
He just keeps making the point until we get it.

And to see the looks on my girls' faces as we wandered the 80 acres of beauty . . .

 

They loved it.
They didn't want to leave.

 

 
Sweet Kam . . . there is a beautiful lodge on the grounds.
As soon as she found out there were hotel accommodations, she was all over it.
She must've asked 17 different times if we could stay :)
She's my hotel girl.
I finally thought she'd give up, and just as we were headed home she gave it one more shot:
"Mama, PLEASE?  Can you just call Daddy and ask??"
Gah, LOVE.THAT.GIRL.

 

 

 So, that's it.
That's my lesson I'm working on right now.
Being grateful for what He provides, even when it's not what I thought I needed.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;  great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him".
Lamentations 3:22-24

Busy, Busy

It's been a busy week.  Kind of strange when an entire week just passes you right by and you're not sure where it went.

We celebrated my nephew's 18th birthday.  Holy moly, how is it possible that he's 18??  Fun story:  I was actually in the room when my sister gave birth to her first baby.  I was 13 years old, and after watching my sister in hard labor for several hours, I'm quite sure I said something along the lines of, What a miracle!  However, I will never be having any biological children of my own.  Adoption for me, thanks!
Funny how things change ;)



My little sis, Annie, and her two kiddos came up to celebrate with us!  Kam and Mona are just 5 months apart.



Taylor actually let someone besides Mama hold her!  She was passed around and around, and didn't fuss much at all.  Major breakthrough!



And we even found time to carve pumpkins.






I may be kind of quiet for a bit.  Having a hard time with a few things right now, and really want {NEED} to just turn it all over to God, but am finding difficulty relinquishing my control.  Sigh.  Just really feeling He wants me to do this right now:

Be still and know that I am God . . .  Psalm 46:10

I'll definitely check in on Friday for the Shutterfly Cards Giveaway.  Go enter, if you haven't yet!

Sweet Sayings

The other day Makenna and I were on the floor admiring Kam and how she's grown and changed so much in the last few weeks. The following is one of the sweetest conversations I've had with my daughter who is no longer the baby of our little family.

Makenna: She's so tiny, Mama
Me: Yes, she's a tiny little pumpkin, isn't she?
Makenna: Does Kameryn have Jesus in her little heart too?
Me: Yes sweetheart, she does.

Always deep in thought, my sweet Makenna. I could tell she was happy to hear that even tiny little Kam has Jesus in her heart. What a treasured moment for this Mama.